We all have them right. Those little things inside of us that haunt us. They come and they go, playing games inside our heads and our hearts. No matter how hard we try, they don’t get away, and neither do we.
About a year ago, I wrote a post about my father whose demons got the best of him…and the best of me. I didn’t realize it then, when I was younger and could have helped him, but my inability to recognize the things that haunt us, that haunted him, left a lasting effect.
It has taken me years to admit and even longer to write down but I suffered from an eating disorder in my late teens, early 20’s…I still suffer every day. And I think that is what I want to talk about today, the fact that our demon is not something we can ever actually get over.
Once you suffer, no matter how well it looks like you are doing, you live with that forever, that demon that keeps wanting to come back. Now before you begin to worry, I am a lot stronger than I used to be and have done everything in my power to ensure I stay a healthy person. This is not a cry for help for me, it is a cry for help for humanity.
I try to go to the gym, even though people around me make comments like “well don’t over do it,” “are you sure that’s a good idea?”
I try to eat healthy, even though people around me make comments like “is that enough?” “shouldn’t you eat some meat?”
And then it hits me like a brick wall. Mental illness is not something that one person suffers with, it is an epidemic of misconstrued information and not understood notions and stigma. We as a community of humans, don’t get it.
Every single one of us suffers from something. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.
If we looked at people through the scope of compassion rather than judgement maybe it wouldn’t take years for people to come out and say, yes my demons were winning once but I got this now. People wouldn’t feel like they would be less of a person for reaching out for help.
I have been the person who has said all the wrong things, I have been the person who people say all the wrong things to. But here I am now, open, willing and able to listen, to help, to just sit non judgmentally as you figure out how to win your battle. This should be our message as a human community.
You are not alone, we are all together in this. My demons might be different than yours but they all have the same mother.