“The Worst Mom Ever”

I don’t like to toot my own horn or anything but in the “mom” category I like to think I rate sort of high. I mean I do all the good mom things…I lay with my 6 year old for 2 more minutes and then 1 more minute and 3 snacks a story and you know the countless manipulative ways in which to stay awake longer.

I sit silently until my terror of an almost 2 year old daughter finally falls to the floor and begins to snore (yes she falls asleep on the floor and yes I have seriously thought about buying her a dog bed because it HAS to be more comfortable than the floor right?!) as I contemplate all the other things I could be doing with the sometimes 2 hours that it takes for her to actually fall asleep…you know like the dishes, laundry, cleaning the floor, picking out clothes for the next day, watering the plants, I mean I could go on forever.

I take days off to go do kid things like spend a day at Davis Farmland (totally worth the trip by the way if you have children) while my son steps in cow poop with his brand new shoes. Like really cow poop, how do you not see cow poop?! And while my daughter walks into the river in her only pair of clothes and legit just sits down. JUST. SITS. DOWN.

I make sure that my kids have what they need, that I bring enough food for them every day, that they don’t miss me too much and that I am always nice and kind and loving.

Yet, here I am “The Worst Mom Ever.” Why you ask…well let’s see.

The first 4 times that I asked my son to get ready for bed he didn’t seem to care to listen to me so the 5th time (really the 5th time) I said it sternly and he began to cry and proclaimed I was the worst mom ever.

My daughter who understands words and knows 100% what the word “NO” means tears apart cabinets and then cries when you take her arm away from the 100 bags she just ripped out of the box and threw all over the floor. She even will go and find another adult and point back at me saying “BAD”…her version of telling me I am the worst mom ever.

An hour after bedtime, and my son calls from his room and asks for a snack. I answer with of course you can have a banana or grapes or something healthy. Because I know he wants a devil dog or ice cream or something that I am probably eating in the living room at that exact moment but is just not acceptable for him and he breaks down. Tears, screams the horror of the world ending as he proclaims that I am in fact the worst mom ever.

So on this journey called life, I have decided that if I was ever going to be the worst anything I will proudly be “The Worst Mom Ever.”

To all of you moms out there being “The Worst,” CHEERS!!! Keep on fighting the good fight…when they graduate high school or college and thank you for all that you have done, being the worst will be worth it right?!

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