I had never been one to give much thought in beliefs and a higher power. In my early years I gave Sunday School a try because “other kids were doing it” (probably the ONE thing in all my life I have done because someone else was). Well turns out Catholic Sunday School was not my thing, my apologies to the lovely nuns! And please don’t read more into this than I mean to say, I simply mean to wonder how we come to believe what we believe.
Since my Sunday School experience I had moved more into believing in mother nature, earth, energy, the pull of the moon, the relationship of the sun, the stars and tides all thing natural. Being a wild child at heart this path seemed right for me. As I moved further into adulthood and my twenties I honestly didn’t give much thought to what I believed in and how it did or did not affect my life.
Then I had my son and I realized that perhaps he would want to believe in something. So I began to pay more attention to the stages of the moon and how the earth felt. We went barefoot outside to reconnect with nature. We spoke about the moon “guiding” us home. We talked about how much the sun and moon loved each other and us and I could go on and on but you get the point.
I never spoke to him about a singular “God” rather we spoke about ideas. My son still says hello to the moon when we are out at night, but he also seems to have a divine calling to believe in what he wants. It was probably about 6 months ago, we were driving by a church on our way to school and he just screamed out “Jesus”.
Naturally, I thought something happened to him so I asked him what was wrong and he looked at me said, “nothing I just saw Jesus.”
Well okay then.
It wasn’t long after that and he had named some of his stuffed animals Jesus, Mary and Joseph.
He speaks about Jesus and God more and more often and yet both are things I have never taught him, never spoke to him about and never explained because to be honest they are thoughts that I can’t explain, I never understood them, it wasn’t necessarily what I believed in.
Now in my thirties with a child who seems to have a calling to believe I am brought back to how important it is to have a center mass. A space inside of us that allows us to think there is more than what we see and understand. Whether we believe in mother earth, a singular God, multiple Gods or the lack of any of that I sit here and wonder how much of what we believe is a choice and how much is something that sits inside of us already?